Sometimes God calls a person to unbelief in order that faith may take new forms.
—Christian Wiman, My Bright Abyss
If the city is a metaphor for certainty and belonging, then the wilderness is for our questions and our truth.
—Sarah Bessey, Field Notes
Author Sarah Bessey writes of an evolving faith as one that can sustain disruptions and thrive in what she calls “the wilderness.”
I have always liked the word “evolving,” as it helps me do what Father Richard Rohr calls “transcend and include” my faith experiences both before that season and since. As my dear friend Rachel Held Evans once said, “An evolving faith is simply faith that has adapted in order to survive.”… [1]
To me, an evolving faith … has proven to be about the questions, the curiosity, and the ongoing reckoning of a robust, honest faith. An evolving faith brings the new ideas and ancient paths together. It’s about rebuilding and reimagining a faith that works not only for ourselves but for the whole messy, wide, beautiful world. For me, this has proven to be deeply centered in the Good News of Jesus. An evolving faith is sacramental, ecumenical, embodied, generous, spirit-filled, truthful, and rooted in the unconditional, never-ending love of God…. An evolving faith is a resilient and stubborn form of faithfulness that is well acquainted with the presence of God in our loneliest places and deepest questions. And an evolving faith has room for all the paths you may navigate….
Anyone who gets to the end of their life with the exact same beliefs and opinions they had at the beginning is doing it wrong. Because if we don’t change and evolve over our lifetime, then I have to wonder if we’re paying attention to the invitation of the Holy Spirit that is your life.
Bessey shares encouragement she received from her father as she moved through ongoing disorder and deconstruction:
In response to my very real and legitimate fears of where this wilderness wandering and questioning would lead me, [my dad] told me something along the lines of this: “I’m not afraid for you. If you’re honestly seeking God, I believe you will find what you’re looking for, even if it looks different than what I have found.”
I still remember the whooshing exhale my relieved soul experienced at his words, like the lifting of a burden that wasn’t mine to carry anyway. It was permission to evolve, and it was love. And so, all these years later, I have adopted that as my own approach to those who are on a winding path of spiritual growth and formation—be not afraid.
I’m not afraid for those who are wondering and wandering. I’m not afraid for them or of them, for you or of you…. You are deeply loved and God is not worried about you. You can rest and abide in that Love even as you throw a few things into the fire.
References:
[1] Rachel Held Evans, sermon at Evolving Faith Conference, October 26, 2018. See also Evans, introduction to Faith Unraveled (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2010).
Sarah Bessey, Field Notes for the Wilderness: Practices for an Evolving Faith (New York: Convergent, 2024), 11–12, 17, 18.
Image credit and inspiration: Jenna Keiper, cracked stained glass (detail), 2020, photo, Albuquerque. Click here to enlarge image. Like this cracked stained glass, sometimes we have to let the old structures deconstruct in order to make room for the new.
Story from Our Community:
I am a lifelong sufferer from scrupulosity (religious perfectionism), which I experience as OCD. I found great encouragement and wisdom in Fr. Richard’s book Breathing Under Water, and the related online course. The spiritual approach to the 12 Steps and creating my own meditation practice have become anchors in my recovery process. The contemplative wisdom I have found with CAC has been a grace to me.
—Joseph M.
