Father Richard Rohr first developed his understanding of mentoring while studying male initiation rites from cultures and traditions throughout the world.
The word “mentor” comes from Greek mythology. Mentor was the name of the wise and trusted counselor of Odysseus. When Odysseus went on his long journey, he put Mentor in charge of his son, Telemachus, as his teacher and the guardian of his soul.
We long for believable mentors on every stage of our journey. In Western culture and even in the Christian tradition, we have few guides to lead us deeply into life’s full journey. We have almost no mentors who have been there themselves and who have come back to guide us through. Of course, there are many bosses, ministers, coaches, and teachers who will happily tell younger people how to “fix” their problems, so they can be “normal” again, but a true mentor guides people into their problems and through them. It feels a bit messy and wild, but also wonderful in some way. A wise mentor leads someone to their own center and to the Center, but by circuitous paths, using their two steps backward to lead them three steps forward. It may look unproductive, but it is really the wisdom path of God. [1]
We need someone to be in solidarity with us, so we can learn what it means to be in solidarity with ourselves, and eventually with others. Have we forgotten how Jesus formed his disciples? We can read all the words of Jesus in the Gospels in a matter of hours, but Jesus spent three long years discipling the people who followed him. What he gave them was not so much his words but his example and his energy, his time and his touch. “Where do you live?” said the first two disciples of Jesus. “Come and see,” he replied, “so they went and saw where he lived, and stayed with him the rest of that day” (John 1:39). What a telling account! In John’s Gospel, one of his disciples even laid his head on the breast of Jesus (see John 13:23–25). They knew how energy was passed: not primarily by sermons and books, but by relationships and presence.
I have no doubt that one of the main reasons I have done some interesting things in my life is the number of men who believed in me throughout my formation. I remember one old friar who told me as a young Franciscan, “Richard, I want you always to trust your intuitions. Promise me that you will always trust them, even if they are wrong once in a while. The direction is right and I will personally fight for you in the background if it ever comes to that.” Need I say more? He was my spiritual father on that day, and one trustworthy spiritual father, mother, friend, or mentor can make up for a hundred negative ones. [2]
References:
[1] Adapted from Richard Rohr with Joseph Martos, From Wild Man to Wise Man: Reflections on Male Spirituality (Cincinnati, OH: Franciscan Media, 1990, 1996, 2005, 2024), 4, 5.
[2] Rohr, Wild Man, 131–133, 136.
Image credit and inspiration: Jenna Keiper, a walk in the fog with Richard, Kirsten, and Patrick (detail), 2019, photo, Albuquerque. Click here to enlarge image. Patrick Boland, Kirsten Oates, and Richard Rohr walk together—students and teacher—navigating a pathway on a cold, foggy morning.
Story from Our Community:
It’s hard to imagine my life without the influence of Fr. Richard Rohr. He has been a mentor to me for over 25 years—from the page. Each day, the Daily Meditations inspire me, challenge me, and teach me about God’s love. I feel encouraged when I see the unique divinity of each person and recognize the powerful presence of God in the beauty of all creation. I’m so grateful for this deep grounding in truth.
—Kit E.
