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Center for Action and Contemplation
Seeing Through the Eyes of Love
Seeing Through the Eyes of Love

A Choice for Love

Monday, September 15, 2025

My children, I will be with you only a little while longer. I’m giving you a new commandment so you’ll know where I am, and who I am: You must love one another.  
—John 13:33–35, paraphrased by Richard Rohr 

Father Richard Rohr speaks on Jesus’ command to love one another in John’s Gospel: 

Sister and brothers, the energy with which we do things matters. To be in love is to be standing in a different space. Love is not only what we do; it’s how we do it. When we stand in the state of love that Jesus offers, we live inside of a different energy. For those moments, we’re not entirely self-preoccupied. We try to care for the world. We’re able to say, “I have one life and when I leave here, I want to make sure this world is a little better because I was here.” What might happen if we woke up each day with this intention: “How can my existence on this earth increase the quality of life on this planet?” 

Jesus says, “I’ll be with you only a little while longer, so I’m going to leave a sign that I’m still here. I’m going to reveal myself in the presence of loving people” (John 13:33–35, Richard’s paraphrase). That’s the only way anyone can know God. If we’ve never let anyone love us, and if we’ve never let love flow through us—gratuitously, generously, undeservedly—toward others, then we can’t possibly know who God is. God is just a theory or abstraction. If “God is love” (1 John 4:8) then those who live in love, live in God, and know God experientially. There’s no other way we can know who God is—or who we truly are—but to love and be loved. Take that as an absolute! 

Love is not something we decide to do now and then. Love is who we are! Our basic, foundational existence—created in the image of the Trinity—is love. Remember, Trinity is saying that God is not an isolated divine being. God is a quality of relationship itself, an event of communion, an infinite flow of outpouring. God is an action more than a substance, to put it succinctly. 

Love, like forgiveness, is a decision. It’s a decision in our minds and in our hearts. And we’d better make it early in the day, because once we’re a few hours into low-level resentment, anger, or disappointment, it’s too late. When we’re not choosing love, we’ll use any excuse to be unhappy or irritated. We’re already unhappy, and then something gives us an excuse to externalize it. The exact object for our unhappiness is actually arbitrary. Unhappiness just needs an object—as do happiness and love. We have to recognize ahead of time when we’re not living in love. This is surely why a morning prayer or practice is so important—to allow us to choose to love each and every day. 

Reference: 
Adapted from Richard Rohr, “Love Is Not What as Much as How,” homily, April 24, 2016. 

Image credit and inspiration: Sankhadeep Barman, untitled (detail), 2019, photo, Unsplash. Click here to enlarge image. The person lingers in awe, wholly present with the flowers, letting herself be consumed by their quiet beauty, choosing to behold and simply be with them. 

Story from Our Community:  

I was raised in a Christian family and culture of what I would call “loving legalists” with much love and nurturing but a limited understanding of grace. This always led to a fear and dread of not measuring up. Some years back I began my journey towards grace and the truly Good News that it is. Father Richard’s Daily Meditations, especially his understanding and description of nondual thinking, have been a huge blessing to my spiritual journey.  
—Barry W.

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