From Duality to Acceptance Through Contemplation

“We do not think ourselves into new ways of living; we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.”
—Richard Rohr  

Quotes from philosophers, psychologists, and contemplatives hold such beautiful truths that have helped me through a journey of trying to make sense of myself. Studying the concept of forgiveness is quite different than being forgiven, and thinking is not the same as feeling. It’s now possible for me to recognize our tendency toward duality in everything. When triggered, I’m projecting what I dislike in myself. There’s truth on both sides of an argument. In others’ perceived shortcomings, the problem is them, and it’s my ego. I didn’t always apply nondualism, but now I’d call it my path to peace.   

A deconstruction of my faith was necessary for me to seek a nondualistic view through contemplation. I’m comfortable somewhere within perplexity instead of my previous, more dualistic understanding that we cross over to being saved. After I am saved—then what?  

I struggled with how to handle my inherent flaws once I was “saved.” We limit spirituality with before-and-after, linear thinking. Once we are confronted with our continuous sin, saved or not, we have no choice but to grow our ego or our shame. A contemplative view allows for a more holistic acceptance of the past-present-future, integrated self. 

How does this acceptance apply to the world around us now? Suffering and evil are impossible for our souls to accept. I’m sure all of us struggle with the state of the world. Reality sometimes requires an element of duality. The tragedies stop me from grasping God’s place with us. People are capable of great love, yet the same universal consciousness is simultaneously capable of every evil.  

Despite this, we are still one. The separation we perceive is an illusion, and at the deepest level, we are all part of the same universal consciousness. We are not an old self and a new self. This is where some psychological understanding, combined with prayer, has allowed me to sit with my own iniquity and the collective darkness of humanity. I realize that my own love and acceptance have their limits. That may be, in essence, what evil is—a limit to the ability to love. I can only hope that the universe does not have limits to God’s great love. 

Thankfully, my focus isn’t an arrival point. Instead, I want a fully present life, staying grateful daily to be wherever I am and with the ones I love. True love stems from acceptance, just the way we are right now. Acceptance is more than trying to see the best in others or psychoanalyzing situations. Through contemplation and prayer, I want to allow room to grow parts of my spirit where I am underdeveloped. I want to honor myself beyond thoughts—emotions, feelings, instincts, and passion. I now know I am not (just) my thoughts. I feel our interconnectedness in certain moments. Recognizing that I’ll never be a “finished” spirit gives me permission to be patient and to embrace letting go. 

Jennifer Moffett is an artist and mother to four boys and a golden retriever. She loves running races around the country with her faster husband Justin. Nothing makes her happier than vacationing with extended family and the perfect cup of coffee placed lovingly at her bedside each morning. Jennifer’s curiosity about philosophy, psychology, and religion means she is never bored!