A Lesson in Loving-Kindness
Elaine Walsh Carney, Founding Principal of Pathfinder Philanthropy Advisors, has specialized in philanthropy, facilitation, mediation, and negotiation for thirty-two years. Elaine’s passion is developing and supporting a “culture of philanthropy” in the organizations that she serves. Her current volunteer leadership is focused on climate-change mitigation, democracy, and resilience. She lives in Jackson Hole, Wyoming with her husband of seventeen years, John Carney.
May I be filled with loving-kindness;
May I be healthy and well;
May I be peaceful and at ease;
May I be happy.
—Traditional Buddhist Meditation
My husband’s family was drawn to Fr. Richard Rohr’s light several decades ago as early supporters of the development of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) in Albuquerque. As a family, we are deeply honored to aid in the work of the CAC and to support Fr. Richard in his pursuit of clear, compassionate loving-kindness for all.
When I first met with Fr. Richard to prepare for my wedding in 2006, I was struck by his deep, contemplative, and thoughtful nature. He guided my fiancé John and me through the Enneagram, quickly learning that we were remarkably similar in temperament. He shared that this could mostly serve us well but might cause problems if we were not diligent. He encouraged us to look inward with rigor and sincerity and work through our challenges with grace and dignity.
Years later, I had an opportunity to put this wisdom to good use. I still remember the hushed sounds of the life-support machines to which I was attached in the Pulmonary Intensive Care Unit at Intermountain Hospital in Salt Lake City, Utah. At that time, I had been intubated and awake for several hours. To calm down and stay sane, I tapped into loving-kindness meditation. I repeated the mantra above for the four days that I was intubated, unaware of how close to death I was. I only knew that I just needed to stay calm.
At the end of my fourth day in the ICU, the nurses pulled the intubation tube from my throat, and I was able to speak again. They were quite surprised and curious about how I had managed. “You were the calmest intubated and awake patient that we have ever seen in this unit. What did you do to stay so peaceful?” “I practiced loving-kindness meditation,” was my simple response. Meditation may have saved my life and most certainly helped me retain my sanity.
We are indeed blessed to have been touched by Fr. Richard’s wisdom. I am thankful for the insights and resources that he has shared with us over the seventeen years of our wonderful friendship.
This reflection appears in the Summer 2023 issue of the Mendicant, our quarterly donor newsletter.