We Conspire — Seeking a More Loving Story
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Seeking a More Loving Story

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The alternative orthodoxy celebrates the path of questioning and seeking.

April 11th, 2022

Have you ever asked yourself—why do I feel like I am constantly seeking a deeper connection to God? Seeking is more internal than external, though mainstream religion doesn’t always teach that. Dogma that demands unconditional obedience can view asking questions as a threat. Yet the alternative orthodoxy celebrates the path of descent—plunging into unknowing, doubt, and loss of certainty. That’s where we can experience God’s unconditional love.

God cannot be found “out there” until God is first found “in here,” within ourselves. What you seek is what you are.

—Fr. Richard Rohr, Essential Teachings on Love 

We Seek to Find Healing

When stuck in my story we struggle to move beyond our own power and prestige. When we seek a more healing story, we learn that power is not the answer. We are enough, just as we are—and so is everyone else.

“As a single parent and survivor of domestic abuse, God’s constant renewal has transformed the old connections that said I was not smart enough, strong enough, or good enough. Throughout my day I stand inside Love, noting that I am seen and known and that in Christ, I am enough.”

—Amy R., CAC Community Member

To feel seen and known helps uncover our own authenticity, connecting us to God’s love amid uncertainty and grief.

“In March 2019, my 40-year-old daughter passed away suddenly. I had been flung over a rocky cliff and into a dark abyss of grief. Slowly came the sense of being held by both death and resurrection, that which is unknowable but still somehow known, and awakened to the eternality of God.”

—Linda C., CAC Community Member

When we seek God in our own grief, we discover the love needed to support others in their grief, too.

We Seek to Let Love to Flow Through Us

Lawyer, civil rights leader, and Sikh American Valerie Kaur asks, “The future is dark. Is this the darkness of the tomb – or of the womb?” When questioning and seeking isn’t fixated on answers, it can open up space to choose love no matter the outcome.

Watch TED Talk: As she journeys from the birthing room to tragic sites of bloodshed, Valerie Kaur shows us how to reclaim love as a revolutionary act (22 minutes).

Seeking to act from love not only benefits our own hope and healing, but that of the world, too. Without the great storyline connecting us all, we remain trapped in small cultural and private worlds.

“I’d always struggled with a sense that there was something so deeply unworthy about me that even God had rejected me,” writes CAC Community Member Wanda W. “Then my first and only daughter died during birth. It was then that reality began to dawn on me: If I could see this child as infinitely precious, how must we all be loved in the eyes of God! Since then, I’ve carried with me an abiding joy and a dedication to the practice of sharing this love.”

“I think how blessed is this cloud of gloom that carries us like a tarred ship to the edge of dawn, without which we might never arrive at the threshold of Light Itself.

—Wanda W., CAC Community Member

We Seek to Find Each Other

Seeking isn’t about discovering answers but uncovering meaningful relationships with God and each other. We are constantly seeking each other in fear, anxiety, hope, and love.

“I’ve been beating myself up for my anger any time there’s the slightest problem. Grief and hurt are deep, keeping me awake at night. Fear and anxiety, sometimes paralyzing, are present below the surface. But then there is love! Love for creation and all mankind and even this collective suffering that brings us all together. The love can swell so intensely that my heart might burst if I don’t give it away.

—Carolyn L., CAC Community Member

We seek to move beyond the confines of my story and our story to live together inside God’s Great Story.

Reflect With Us

How does seeking your own healing open your heart to give love to others? Share your reflection with us.


We Conspire is a new series from the Center for Action and Contemplation featuring wisdom and stories from the emerging Christian contemplative movement. Sign up for the monthly email series and receive a free invitation to practice each month.

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