Thinking It Through

NIt seems to me that “Graced Metamorphosis” is a significant request from the challenges in life. 

Life is abundant in its evolutions and transitions, from birth to death. These organic changes may be graced, but there are also times when we feel stuck in transitions, and the transformative power of unalterable change seems beyond our reach. 

Letting go of what I deeply loved has been incredibly difficult. For years, profound loss left me feeling that grace was completely out of reach. My understanding needed to be transformed. It was my twenty-year experience with Fr. Richard’s teachings that finally helped me step back from focusing on the trees long enough to see the entire forest. 

Contemplative practice revealed to me a “Big God”—a God manifesting not only continual presence but also unconditional love and acceptance: 

• Presence in creation in its entirety—from the air I breathe to the beauty and comfort that refreshes my soul. 
• Presence in remaining family and friends who show me that I matter. 
• Presence in the life stages that force me to focus on what is truly important. 
• Presence in the prayers I whispered as I learned to accept what I could not control. 
• Presence in the days I trained myself to see the Big God in the unfolding reality of each day.  

Somehow, this opened the door to courage, allowing me to embrace tomorrow and the days beyond, waiting to sense the everlasting presence of a loving God. As I approach my eightieth year, deepened by my daily contemplative practice, I realize not only that I was blessed by grace but that I was inundated with it. Naturally, gratitude follows these realizations, but on the other side of this gratitude is deep humility. It is this humility that I continue to work with and on. I must admit, I am moving forward in small steps. Letting go and letting God still challenges me. 

Barbara Zuccala retired from a thirty-three-year teaching career in June of 2000. From 2005 to 2016, she worked in a local hospice as an end-of-life companion, subsequently training as an end of life doula to enhance her skill set in dealing with the dying and their families. From 2017 to present, she has been scanning her history looking for the occasions a loving God was present but she was unaware.