A daily examination of consciousness sounds like a very good thing indeed.
—Richard Rohr
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
—Step 10 of the Twelve Steps
Richard Rohr names how Step 10 is beneficial when practiced from a contemplative stance:
I must admit: When I first read Step 10, I wanted to say, “OK, come now, let’s get on to something a bit more positive and evolved. This is beginning to feel like an endless examination of conscience and will keep people navel-gazing forever.” I still recognize that as a danger for some.
In my training as a Franciscan, we learned from the Jesuits about a daily and personal practice of an “examination of conscience.” It certainly had wise intent and worked for some, but I believe that people with a mature conscience do this naturally anyway, through a strongly developed sense of right and wrong. Today, many Jesuits recommend instead an “examination of consciousness,” which to me feels much more fruitful.
Consciousness is not the seeing but that which sees me seeing. It is not the knower but that which knows that I am knowing. It is not the observer but that which underlies and observes me observing. We must step back from our compulsiveness, and our attachment to ourselves, to be truly conscious. [1]
Benedictine Sister Macrina Wiederkehr (1939–2020) suggests a series of questions for a daily “Examen of Consciousness”:
- Have the ears of my heart opened to the voice of God?
- Have the ears of my heart opened to the needs of my sisters and brothers?
- Have the eyes of my heart beheld the Divine face in all created things?
- What do I know, but live as though I do not know?…
- Is there anyone, including myself, whom I need to forgive?
- When did I experience my heart opening wide today?…
- What is the one thing in my life that is standing on tiptoe crying, “May I have your attention please?” What needs my attention? [2]
Richard continues:
If obeyed—listened to and followed—consciousness will become a very wise teacher of soul wisdom. It will teach us from deep within (both Jeremiah 31:33 and Romans 2:15 describe it as “the law written on our hearts”). Some call it the “Inner Witness.” On some level, soul, consciousness, and the Holy Spirit can well be thought of as the same thing, and it is always larger than me, shared, and even eternal.
Wisely, Step 10 does not emphasize a moral inventory, which becomes too self-absorbed and self-critical, but speaks instead of a “personal inventory.” In other words, just watch yourself objectively, calmly, and compassionately. When we’re able to do this from a new viewing platform and perspective as a grounded child of God, “The Spirit will help us in our weakness” (Romans 8:26). From this most positive and dignified position, we can let go of, and even easily admit, our wrongs. [3]
References:
[1] Selected from Richard Rohr, Breathing under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps, 10th anniv. ed. (Cincinnati, OH: Franciscan Media, 2011, 2021), 81–82.
[2] Macrina Wiederkehr, Seven Sacred Pauses: Living Mindfully through the Hours of the Day (Notre Dame, IN: Sorin Books, 2008), 168.
[3] Rohr, Breathing under Water, 82, 83, 85–86.
Image credit and inspiration: Jenna Keiper, bubble detail (detail), 2020, photo, Albuquerque. Click here to enlarge image. Air is released as bubbles when water hits water. Where do we find oxygen when we’re underwater?
Story from Our Community:
After 40 years “in and out” of AA, someone gave me Richard Rohr’s book, Breathing under Water. Maybe I was finally at a bottom, or maybe it was simply that Richard’s words finally filled the empty place inside of me with a wonderful new spirituality. Today, I am 3 years clean and sober. I feel called to serve in whatever way I can. I am now caring for my young grandson who is in the hospital, helping my exhausted daughter. I am grateful for every minute I can offer this care and comfort. In fact, I am so deeply grateful for everything in my life.
—Christine B.
